"'Vern's' Suicide Note"

Thursday morning, 'Vernon' was found hanging from a tree with this note pinned to his chest.
To Ernest P. Worrell:
I've come to realize that through the years, I have taken you for granted. I've mistreated you by pushing you from the ladder and even cut the rope when you managed to save yourself. I've closed the blinds when the window came down on your hands instead of helping you. I closed the door in your face at Christmas time. I've chased you with the lawn mower. I let the boogeyman get you. I turned off the light and left you in the basement even though I knew you were scared. You got electrocuted on several occasions and I didn't have the decency to ask if you were ok. I didn't help you when you got attacked by an army of fire ants. For Christmas one year, as a present, I got you a one way ticket to Borneo. I realize now how mean hearted and cold that was. You still threw me a birthday party anyway, which goes to show you what a great guy you were.
Buying you that dog, Rover, still doesn't make up for what I've done to you.
You've always had the best intentions at heart, you tried to help me and you stuck by me even though I had treated you horribly.
Ernest, you were a true friend to me. I'm deeply sorry I failed to figure that out sooner. I never knew what a true friend was.
Ernest, you were that friend. If the tables had been turned, you would have accepted me, no questions asked.
There you were, trying desperately to be my friend when I should've been the one to want to be yours.
You loved unconditionally no matter if they loved you or not.
With the 'New Ernest', I've come to realize what the 'Real Ernest' really meant to me. I'd rather be dead than have to film one more 'New Ernest' commercial.
Instead of calling you annoying, I should've called you My Hero.
Now, it's too late to tell you that. Now, it's too late for me.
I can only hope you can please forgive me for what I've done, Ernest P. Worrell. 1949-2000.
                                                                                                    'Vernon'

*DISCLAIMER: This is a fictitious story and should be treated as such. In no way does this relate to any person(s) with the name of 'Vern' or 'Vernon'.